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In Reply to: Friendship after the Family & in the Family posted by Donny on July 25, 2003 at 21:44:56:
But here's a chilling thought. Could it be that what we are thinking of as "friendship" is misleading? In other words, probably the deeper issues are one of being part of a unified rah-rah world-changing movement, which we no longer feel with all its false pseudo-excitement, and---
Because the major thing we felt in the cult was "acceptance," as long as we ran with the wolves and howled with the wolves, they accepted us. So THE FAMILY itself was our "friend", the great big group of happy people around the world that loved us. Wherever we went in the world were people who smiled at us, hugged us and called us close family.
Of course, in the end the Family betrayed us, and when we stopped wolf-howling they turned on us. But maybe we still try to salvage the good part from the bad, and the good being that we had a total society that accepted us intimately, fully and happily. It was like belonging to the ultimate circle of friends.
Then when we doubted the party line, they reported us. When we voiced opposition they shunned us. When we decided to leave and still wanted to be friends we found the doors slammed shut, the tap of love turned off, and loved ones only writing us security-bleached letters about the weather.
Maybe it's not just close friends we miss, but rather living in the great womb of acceptance that was in the cult.
