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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #9576

I must interject here - in defense of Sam

Posted by Acheick on August 31, 2003 at 20:21:04

In Reply to: Re: Confidentiality posted by Joseph on August 28, 2003 at 16:49:39:

I do not agree with Sam on all issues, nor do I necessarily follow all his practices, just as much as I do not agree with you on all issues nor do I follow all your practices and I'm sure the same is true about me and I do not expect people to be in agreement about all things that I do or say regarding TF and my opinion or way of dealing with them. However, I feel I must say something to your post because you are in effect attacking Sam's character with blanket statements that are simply not true and are attacking his person, not his methods, such as (loosely quoted) "all Sam cares about is hurting the Family and he doesn't care who he hurts in the process."

As someone who knows Sam personally and has dealt with him on many occassions through lengthy phone conversations and in person over many years, this is so far from the truth, it's hard to know where to begin to dispute it. I do not see Sam in this light at all. Although we may question his practices, judging his character as such is definitely wrong. The fact is, Sam does care deeply about keeping others out of harms way so much that he goes to great lengths to expose TF and proctect society as a whole. We may not all agree with his methods of exposure, but his heart is true, your statement in such a negative light portrays him as some kind of feelingless person who has no idea of love except to hurt others in his gleeful lust for TF to be hurt. This is not the Sam I know.

Then you go on to further tear down his credibility by stating that his only reason for publishing your email was because of a perosonal vendetta against Barney. This is also another jab at his character and an untruth. My conversations with him said something else. Sam was very concerned about the children living in Barney's place as it may have been merely a mirror of a Family home. This is what got him involved initially, and then when you tried to clarify the situation for him, he felt he had unjustly wronged Barney and thought he should publish your email to erase that error. His intentions were meant well, but his method was wrong - and in that much I know he apologized many times for.

As far as his confidentiality mantra - that's something I'm still trying to sort out. I do know that I was always told that a secret is no longer a secret once you tell someone. If I want something to remain a secret, I simply do not tell anyone. One time I was telling Sam something and I asked him not to repeat it, he replied - "well, please don't tell me then because I do not know if I will remember which thing it was you do not want me to repeat." I'm not saying this because I approve of all of Sam's methods, but it did make me realize I had to be responsible for what I say and if I don't want it repeated. A lot of things I have said in confidence to people I trusted have been repeated on these boards or to others that I wish had not happened. I think it happens a lot. A lot of people are guilty. Or, you could do as Jules did and talk about things openly since that is how Sam deals with things. I realize, of course, all subjects can't be handled this way especially ones of a sensitive nature.

All that to say that I do not agree with your portrayal of Sam's character and I wanted to throw my two cents in for whatever it's worth.