a sad tale to tell...

I want to give you all a comparison with system child abuse and see if you think there is a difference. I hope this isn't too long butI need to give you some background.

I left the Family in 1981 with both my children when I began to realise I was losing control over their futures. The thought of someone touching them or sending them away from me was bigger than my fear of God. I decided to take my chances with the 'big guy' even though i was terrified of divine retribution. My husband was 'sold out' so I left without him.

A couple of years after I left the Family I met a wonderful man who also had two children from a previous marriage (only one lived with him) and we ended up getting married. We had a wonderful live apart from life's little ups and downs, he worked in radio and we led an exciting life and pretty much wanted for nothing.

My children were finally safe and wanted for nothing. I revelled in making my own decisions about their upbringing and knew that I had saved them from the terrible fate of growing up in the Family.

My husbands son was 5 years older that my eldest and 7 years older than the youngest.

At the age of 15 my daughter was out of control. Next thing she became pregnant. It caused a huge trauma for all of us but we made the best of it and supported her completely. Her decision to have her child was respected after much counselling and discussion with her and her boyfriend and a week after her sixteenth birthday her son was born.

Two days after she came home from hospital she woke me up one night and informed me that she and my son had been sexually molested for years by their step-brother from the age of 7 for her and 8 for my son. I was incredulous! I almost didn't believe her (because it was so unbelievable) and woke up her brother. He confirmed it and thus began the last eight years of our lives. My step son also admitted to everything and wrote letters of apology to all of us (its a pity we threw them away in disgust, we could have used them in the court case).

I was so traumatised that I had a complete breakdown. My marriage ended as I could not even look at my husband knowing what his son had done to my children. In fact I couldn't have sex for many years as all I could think about was what happened to my poor babies.

Having escaped the Family with my children's innocence intact it had now been have taken away by a trusted family member. I was devastated beyond belief. My kids tried to make my feel better saying that they had lived with it for a long time and they were ok. I was paralysed for about a year. I was also struck with mature onset epilepsy, a reaction I truly believe to the trauma.

My son was starting to show signs of psychological problems so I asked my ex to help me pay for counselling. He refused and in my anger I went to a lawyer who advised the kids to press charges. My step son was between the ages of 12-16 when the abuse occurred and by this time was about 25.

The next few years were hell for all of us as we were slandered by my ex. He made a statement to the police that I had told my kids to make it up etc. That they had been in a cult where they had been interfered with previously (not true, no one ever touched them).

The case was eventually dismissed because my ex had an expensive lawyer but it didn't matter. The process was healing for all of us and I strongly encourage any other children who have been abused to go to the authorities.

My children were able to apply for victims compensation, which they received, so at least the crime was recognised. They felt vindicated. They are doing so well now. My daughter is still on medication for post traumatic stress and my son has his problems but they are doing great. My grandson is the joy of my life as well.

How ironic that I rescued them from the Family only to be abused by their step brother.

My life is very different now to before I found out. I am very cynical sceptical and untrusting of people.

My ex husband still doesn't believe that it was anything more that childish experimentation - luckily the law didn't agree. As they would not agree whether you were in a religious cult or not! Child abuse is child abuse which ever way you look at it.
I just hope that the Family kids can get the healing that my children have got from seeing the process through to the end no matter what the outcome.
Love and Peace to you all