You know you're over-the-hill when...

10.You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
9.You get winded playing chess.
8.Dialing long distance wears you out.
7.You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
6.A fortune teller offers to read your face.
5.The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
4.You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
3.the first brand new car you ever bought turns up in an antique car show, and it runs better than you do.
2.You know you're getting old when you become less concerned about the fiber of your character and more concerned about the character of your fiber.
1.You know you're over-the-hill when your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Note: I recited the above one-liners at my 50th birthday party. I used the stack-memory technique described earlier to help me recall them in sequence.