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Re: Not everything

Posted by buzzing by again on February 05, 2004 at 10:11:19

In Reply to: Not everything posted by Jane on February 05, 2004 at 08:04:06:

*I know Anneke personally, as I also know some of the people that run this board and other boards. The truth is that the Family is mightily deceptive and those of us exers who have a heart to help people exit the Family can be easily deceived.*

I buy this to a degree. But with all the exposure on the internet, it is reasonable to believe that there was more than just being blinded by the blight. Perhaps it was the need of some humans to feel in the center of it all and to be at a prime position in the thick of what is going on with the family and being friends with the top KNOWN family and desiring to work with the TOP known "star" exers. This is not worth a public hanging or an exer purging session. It seems to be a common character flaw that some humans lean towards. Or a personality disorder. There is therapy for that if a person wanted help. But if they are happy in that lifestyle then why would they want to change? Usually it is related to low self esteem when a person feels a need to brag about all the wealth, the contacts, the vacations, the celebrities, the top brass they have entertained, the top exers they have helped and so on. Because if a person had a healthy self esteem, they would not feel a need to just help the celebs and have to reassure everyone that they are in the tops in the "I know something you don't know, and here is a little sliver of that knowledge", and to inform everyone of their wealth complete with pictures of all their luxury and jetsetting adventures, CONSTANTLY. While for others,I guess for some there is an excitement in feeling like the parent and all the people that visit their board are the "kids" (which is bullshit),and I am not talking about anneke here.
And I am not talking about here.

*Maybe you were so almighty smart to avoid the snare of the fowler but not everyone is so lucky.*

I am not "Historian", but I believe it to be self-delusion to say that anyone within the past two years was not fully aware that GM was not fully connected with the family. At the same time, I cannot fault someone that tells themselves they are only trying to help them. (You know, deliver some more top people from the pit) while at the same time enjoying their company and fringe benefits of the relationship. And I believe that denial was deeply in place because the family knows how to pour on that security blanket of "loving and caring and being concerned" about anyone they see that has potential venues of providing good spoils for the family.

*I know that what was at the heart of all the hobnobbing with FCF and that sort of ilk was the desire to help people get out. Some exers didn't and don't have the desire to have anything to do with Family people and so what, that's okay....but I know that I personally have helped people leave. Not by giving a place to live, because I don't believe in handouts per-se, but by extending a hand of friendship from the outside world. That's all. Friendship. Again I say, So What!*

And that is how you believe. Personally, I believe that people leaving the family are in need of a lot more than friendship, but for most exers, resources and responsibilities would make more than providing friendship and moral support something that would cause them to neglect their own family/recovery. There are many resources that help with the many legitimate needs of people exiting the family, and friends can be a big support in the transition. I think the need to assist primarily family celebs stems from the family's own romance with having that special inner circle of their own celebrities and the family's own chosen circle to know it all while others merely receive crumbs of "selah" information. After all they are just the commoners.

*What I really appreciate the most is when people talk about their personal stories of exiting, what happened to them. Take for instance, Achieks story. It's very very good. Gives a clear picture of who she is and what happened to her. What gets my goat are the anonymous mudslingers who don't know what happened and just like to talk dirt about others.*

Here it seems you suck up to the board coord. and then slam the commoners those "anonymous mudslingers" who you assume know nothing like the priveleged few in-the-know exers do. hahaha.
We are all exers (or most of us anyway) and we all have parts of the picture. And we can put them together to help each other recover, or we can use the information to feel more important or we can use the information to prosecute, or we can use the information to _________ (fill in the blank). Personally I believe all of us, regardless of our personal "faults" deserve recovery from that outhouse horror. That is my take on it. People at the "top" are often very lonely people whose lives are out of control and substance abuse (incl. alcohol) is not uncommon. (I am speaking generally here, and NOT about any exer in particular.)These same people need support. If I would say anything it would be to say that in Anneke's case, I know she has done much to help others. I also know that she has been used. Probably both by exers newly exiting and by family thoroughly in. After all, we were given thorough training in the family on the art of manipulation. So Anneke says she is out now and broken off from FCF connections. Maybe that is so. If not, maybe FCF connections, as false and conditional as they may be, feel safer to her. That is why I think, IMO, exers need to also get professional help from someone qualified that has dealt with abuse issues. And then use exer support and comments in a way that you use what helps and chunk what doesn't.

*Beware of the telephone pole in thine own eye.*

I think we are all pretty splintered and damaged after doing time in Bergville. You, and me, and historian and Anneke..all of us that post here. Sometimes hurting people hurt other hurting people. So I will go to my Dr. to take out the splinters and come around these boards to take what helps, and leave the rest.