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the deal at "the folks" house..

Posted by ray on February 17, 2004 at 17:12:51

In Reply to: Re: Sara D. was sexually molested as a child posted by anovagrrl on February 17, 2004 at 16:30:08:

altho i had limited exposure to this world, i do have friends who were "inner circle" for long periods. i really don't know how much psychological studies apply to the sexual behavior of most of the "followers" at db's hq. i believe that by far the strongest force motivating most of the sexual behavior there was a wildly redefined set of spiritual values... what began as a wholehearted commitment to the God of the bible was gradually emptied out and restuffed w/ the god of berg's dementia. it was not an overnight thing, and was a combination of carrot and stick, w/ peer pressure, sphisticated thought reform technique, and, well, "more subtil than any beast of the field" as the book puts it. sex was a sort of celebratory sacrament in that atmosphere...not simply an avenue for personal pleasure, nor an expression of personal intimacy, but a sort of psycho-spiritual-sexual glue to cement the inner circle in an "apocalypse now" world of col. kurtz and "special forces gone wild!" experience that was designed to radically burn bridges and create a totally redefined moral universe. completely abandoning one's previous world veiw and sense of personal identity was the bread and the wine in this green door, upside down and backwards universe. the conviction level amongst the inner circle was almost unbelievable. they were absolutely convinced of the God ordained nature of "david's kingdom" and any rational assesment of it's values was almost unthinkable. i thought i was pretty sold out... but i was a lukewarm halfheart in this world. (i was quickly shipped back to the field, and w/in 2 mths. fired for "not having enough of the spirit of david.") but to give you an idea , i spent years living in fear of condemnation for having failed God and His Prophet.the experience of the average field disciple was almost normal (!) compred to the inner circle.

all that to say, i think something way more potent than childhood influences was at work. imo.