In Reply to: Re: You mean about Berg and the Family? posted by Jesse (rockon) on April 01, 2004 at 11:45:40:
Wow, I take it to mean you were "forced" to marry your ex while in the Family.
Sounds like you are mostly upset with your ex because she calls you and puts stuff onto you when things are wrong with your daughter.
It must be stretching it when she's not only staying in your apartment with her boyfriend, but complaining about how your daughter isn't getting along with her new guy.
Do you have any special reason to feel anger or resentment toward your ex and her boyfriend? I'm not trying to pry, just thought you might want to talk about it, but if you don't want to, you really don't have to answer anything).
It also sounds like you believe your daughter's problems are related to the rape and abuse in the COG.
We all know Berg was a screwball MF jerk. The Lord led you to Him. You don't have to be thankful for to Berg for anything. Look, I once got robbed by a guy who drove me to the airport to catch my flight. Getting saved and being driven to the airport may be a little different, but I am completely certain I don't need to be thankful to that guy for driving me to the airport!
What to do with all that anger with Berg? I don't know. Some of it is healthy, most of it is necessary. But it's no good if the anger is doing really bad things to yourself and others.
Someone once mentioned a dart board with Berg's face on it.
Maybe you can try kicking cushions around (I read this somewhere), because when you get mad, the instinct to kick (someone's ass) is very real, and holding it back will make it come out somewhere else.
This is not hocus-pocus, but your diet and body type could also be related to the amount of frustration, aggression or anger you feel.
Thinking back, I used to have my anger problem when I was into body building and eating a lot of meat. I wasn't on steroids or anything, but I did find a direct link to my body and my aggression. Sometimes I was so addicted to endorphines I'd want to go out and re-arrange a wrongly parked car by lifting it! At first I got nto body building because I wanted to get "healthy" and into a "fit" life-style. Then I developed all these short, stiff and bulky muscles. I was anything but fit. Sure I could budge a parked car, but I'd get short of breath if I ran for a train.
Don't shoot me for saying this, but I found that my body had a direct effect on my temperament! It's almost like you store your anger in your body. I found that stretching and yoga released and relieved me from this tension. Maybe it was just therapeautic and relaxing to stretch and force your muscles to relax. Whatever. The stretching helped. The change of diet helped too.
Research has shown that anger and stress do in fact show up and store in your body. I'm not talking about when you clench your fists, grit your teeth, lean on one side, or lock your jaw, but for example: some people who feel really burdened with responsibility have stiff heavy shoulders, and look like they're carrying the world on their shoulders. Getting a massage, and stretching these stiff areas, actually has an effect on how they feel regarding the "weight on their shoulders."