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In Reply to: Re: Seems to tie in somewhat with BPD posted by anovagrrl on April 22, 2004 at 10:21:26:
There's much more to it than the DSM-IV definitions. Typically, people with BPD:
- see the world in black or white, and have a hard time seeing gray areas.
- believe that others are either completely right or totally wrong.
- see people as either all good or all bad, and alternate between seeing people as either flawless or evil, with nothing in between. They sometimes switch between the 2 extremes within minutes or hours, because they are unable to handle ambivalence.
- find it impossible to recall anything negative about a person when they are being typecast as a hero or a good person, and vice versa.
- alternate between seeing situations as either disastrous or ideal.
- alternate between idealizing people and devaluing them.
- change their opinions depending upon who they're with.
- remember situations very differently than other people.
- believe that others are responsible for their actions-or take too much responsibility for the actions of others.
- seem unwilling to admit to a mistake-or feel that everything that they do is a mistake.
- base their beliefs on feelings rather than facts.
- do not realize the effects of their behavior on others.
- feel abandoned at the slightest provocation.
- have extreme moodiness that cycles very quickly (in minutes or hours).
- have difficulty managing their emotions.
- feel emotions so intensely that it's difficult to put others' needs-even ahead of their own.
- feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of the time.
- feel anxious or irritable a great deal of the time.
- feel empty or like they have no self a great deal of the time.
- feel ignored when they are not the focus of attention.
- express anger inappropriately.
- feel that they never can get enough love, affection, or attention.
- frequently feel spacey, unreal, or out of it.
- have trouble observing others' personal limits.
- have trouble defining their own personal limits.
- act impulsively in ways that are potentially self-damaging, such as spending too much, engaging in dangerous sex, fighting, gambling, abusing drugs or alcohol, reckless driving, shoplifting, or disordered eating.
- threaten to kill themselves.
- rush into relationships based on idealized fantasies of what they would like the other person or the relationship to be.
- change their expectations in such a way that the other person feels they can never do anything right.
- have frightening, unpredictable rages that make no logical sense.
- physically abuse others, such as slapping, kicking, and scratching them.
- needlessly create crises .
- act inconsistently or unpredictably.
- alternately want to be close to others, then distance themselves.
- cut people out of their life over issues that seem trivial or overblown.
- act competent and controlled in some situations but extremely out of control in others.
- verbally abuse others, criticizing and blaming them to the point where it feels brutal.
- act verbally abusive toward people they know very well, while putting on a charming front for others. Can they switch from one mode to the other in seconds.
- act in what seems like extreme or controlling ways to get their own needs met.
- do or say something inappropriate to focus the attention on them when they feel ignored.
- accuse others of doing things they did not do, having feelings they do not feel, or believing things they do not believe.
- lack Object Constancy (have a hard time recalling someone's love for them when they're not around).
- understand generalised statements as specific and personal ones about themselves.
- mix up absolute and tentative statements.
- mix up context freely in order to create facts around their accusations.
- distort or misquote other people's mild opinions to reflect their own extreme views.
- feel a sense of disappointment, abandonment or betrayal when they do not get their emotional needs met on demand.
- constantly put down people they "love", and when they try to leave the relationship they prevent them from leaving in a variety of ways (anything from declarations of love and promises to change to implicit or explicit threats).
- emotionally abuse the people closest to them.
- act inconsistently or unpredictably yet believe they are stable.
- have an amazing ability to read people and uncover their triggers and vulnerabilities – they know how to ‘press buttons.’
- are very competent and in control in some situations (are typically very intelligent, creative, and artistic), while they fall apart in another situation.
- have narcissistic demands.
- believe that nobody cares about them as much as they care about others.
- project - put their own inner feelings and thoughts onto others, accusing people around them of harbouring these feelings and thoughts, and insisting they originate in others.
- revise facts to fit feelings
- were typically sexually abused as children
