In Reply to: Carol's Prayer for Joe posted by AG on May 20, 2004 at 07:24:26:
One of the worst things that Zerby says to people like Joe, or to any Family member who suffers from such an illness, alcoholism or drug addiction, also an illness, is to say that things would have been different for them if they would have made different choices. In other words person who suffers from something that they're born with could have avoided it if they hadn't done this or that. In other word, what they're suffering is the result of the consequences of their choices. More fear which is the last thing they need.
Knowing it's not your fault, gives you the chance to start changing the things that can be changed and accepting the things that can't be changed. It helps you to learn to like and love who you are. Of course Berg/Zerbyfied solutions don't leave much space for real individuality and self love. It's funny, I haven't heard a Family member who can explain the second part of "Love thy neighbor as thyself."