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In Reply to: Did you read the posts? posted by Optimist on August 29, 2004 at 17:50:50:
Unbelievable. The cowardice of a few people on this web site to accuse others under some pseudonym never ceases to amaze me. I absolutely understand the need for complete anonymity sometimes but the hypocrisy of those who demand details, names and specifics from others and yet make their demands as “another participant” or “optimist” makes me gag.
I read your first comment and I thought: “you talkin’ to me?” You “clarified” this a bit and made it clear that “who the hell else are you talkin’ to?” but still only through snide insinuation. I am the only person who commented on the retirement article about my parents in the Family. The least you could do is have the guts to clearly and specifically state what you think and why. I grew up in a group where snide insinuation was the default method of communication and your “self evident” statements are indeed crystal clear to me.
Your ugliness does not even deserve a response, but unlike in the group, where I had to just suck it up, I can now speak up for myself and I do not take kindly to being maligned for no reason.
I was the first person (that I am aware of) to name names online when I talked about my experiences in the Jumbo on excognet in 1998. On MovingOn, unlike the other exmember web sites, I accept sole liability for the content of the site. To spell it out, when people name names, I am personally responsible for the consequences of those actions. When the site launched I assumed that I would at some point be sued for the content there and what I was encouraging people to speak openly about, but I am more than a little crazy when it comes to child abusers and I made a decision that any fallout was worth it for some small measure of justice and for something that I could immediately do to begin to even the score. You might be surprised at some of the people who did oppose or at least question my stance, but that is not my story to tell.
You obviously know nothing about me or my relationship with my parents. It is not my fault that they are still in the group. Your insinuations are offensive and disgusting.
I don’t owe you or anyone else any explanation for anything. You have no right to demand anything at all of me. I don’t know who you are, or I would certainly be naming names (since I am not the administrator of this site and there would be no ethical conflict for me) but I assume you are an FG exmember. Worse than all your “combinations” is someone who was part of the generation that enslaved, exploited and attempted to destroy us and then does nothing themselves to make things right. The admins and coordinators of the various exfamily sites are doing something. Many of the participants do nothing at all but safely post from the anonymity granted to them by other people. It’s so easy to be an armchair general.
I named Ray, Ed and WC before as former leaders and WS staff who could tell more, but in their defence, all of them have done something. Even when I disagree with people, even when it is someone like Sam A., I have to respect the fact that they are not merely standing by and demanding that others stand up for them and fight their battles, but they are being true to what they believe, even if I disagree with it.
Perhaps it is something that we will never fully get over: the judgemental, condescending, demanding, elitist, co-dependent aspects of being in a cult. The hero worship and the outrage when someone doesn’t live up to our own expectations. I have been guilty of all these myself. I hope we can one day move past this. It just irks me that there are so very few people who are willing to put themselves in harms way to do something about the pain and hurt that have devastated so many lives and there are so very many that are willing to sit (anonymously) in judgement.
