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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #20366

Jim, don't you just hate it?

Posted by Observer on April 22, 2005 at 19:20:08

Doesn't it bug you when someone mixes you up with your brother John or your nephew, John Jr. and says you said such-and-such when it was actually them, or vice-versa? Porceleindoll had to write out a whole list of your family names in an effort to help people keep your names straight.

You have pinpointed me as someone who is your outspoken critic & 'enemy.' Way to go big guy. How to lose friends & influence people. Was this just an honest mistake or is that how you feel? I notice others on this board more consistently criticize you, while I mix what I consider to be honest criticism with recognition of what you're trying to do. If I give frank advice on how to talk to Clair Borowick, it's because I think those are valid comments. You can do what you want to with my advice, ignore it if you wish.

It seems you have a habit of figuring that even those who half-agree but do not fully support you with you must be your foes. This kind of approach will only drive people away. A lot of people like myself applaud you for your efforts & zeal but have legitimate questions about your style & methods.

Examples, you say below, making a play on my name:

'I apologized to certain individuals who felt that I "threatened" them. I didn't, but I do have a hard style. I can see how they felt threatened, and I apologized. But none of these individuals have owned up (as of yet) to creating the hyseteria caused when third party "Observer's" jumped in to defend them. That will have to be done before talks with one another can be resumed in a fashion that is productive. Now, others on this site are saber rattling to get into it. I suggest you sit back, let the process work itself out, and "observe" your own behavior.'

Then Acheick wrote to you:

'I'm glad to know that - all the other stuff I didn't really need to know and was not what I asked, but thanks for offering it anyway. Also, are you talking about me when you say I should observe my behavior? What did I do?'

You answered:

'No, not you. I was using the metaphor for the person who posts under "Observer." His/her nickname implies that they are impartial, when I don't see it that way.'

Then one of your friends posted under the name 'To Observer,' saying:

'Does your first name rhyme with Con?'

Jim, you surely understand that the exmember community is deeply divided over you. But many people aren't fully on one side or the other, but have mixed feelings. If you truly think that I am the person making the most outspoken critique of you on this board, you are mistaken. I gave my advice and if you don't want to take it, fine. I realize a lot of the discussion you've had over the past week or two has left you a bit defensive or combattive, but you might want to change gears.

Just some friendly advice.