In Reply to: Re: Interesting thought, that posted by Jewlz on May 03, 2005 at 21:07:35:
For a good while before leaving I was OVER the "authority" of others in the family. My kids were too, especially the eldest who was 8 when I left.
I was on my way out for awhile before I made the actual physical break. I just did not know it. But I do know that my children would have been crushed if they had stayed in because they were very independent and strong willed.
It is amazing to me that SGs that went through Victor Camps and/or were sexualized and in many cases brutalized as youth in the Family made it through all that. I watched the Memorial tape at least part of it and was impressed by the maturity and resolve as well as the resilience of those who grew up in that.
The most damaging thing to my relationship with my children was the unwanted and forced separation. But today I am so glad to be close to them and have them calling me "Mom" and being regular "systemites".
I regretted that coming back to the states after leaving the family that I was so unprepared for survival and they had to live poorly for quite some time. But we hung in there and survived and now they are all doing real well.
It was weird putting them in real school after having only been allowed that for part of 1st and 2nd grade for the older two. Then it was insufficient homeschooling and me getting out. Those adjustments were hard too but they did good.
I will be seeing my youngest and his wife in about a month and a half and I can't say what it means to be connected now and have that loving relationship. They live in another city and will fly me there for a weekend.
They are such generous and wonderful adults now, and had they been in the family they would have been labelled problem cases and been emotionally crushed. It may have been hard, surviving after leaving, but worth every painful and triumphant moment of it.