The Family Children of God by insidersChildren of God Family International
Home Chat Boards Articles COG History COG Publications People Resources Search site map > chatboards > genX > archives > post #21211


Posted by lydia on May 20, 2005 at 02:13:03

In Reply to: Re: yes maybe I was an exception posted by susie on May 19, 2005 at 18:49:57:

yes there was that, but I was under the opinion that it showed how much they were "needy".

I'm sorry for the trauma you felt, but I genuinely liked men, it didn't matter if they were fat, ugly, or tall or thin. I always found something beautiful about them.

I disgust myself, and it wasn't because I was lacking in confidence or wanted to get away from my children. I just really believed the crap Berg wrote. I mindlessly believed that I was doing something wonderful.

I still kick myself for my stupidity. I nearly went crazy when I realised how terrible it was in reality. And guess who I was madest at? Berg, no, the Family? No, I was mad at God. Because I thought, here I thought I was serving him, if he was so powerful and great and knew my heart, how could he allow all that to happen?

Thankfully I got over it, but I just had to put aside for awhile, as I was as close to having a nervous breakdown as I ever was. Anyway.