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My first Bible name(s)

Posted by Eugene (aka Habakkuk) on June 01, 2005 at 00:33:45

In Reply to: Re: Fruit Salad posted by ethan on May 31, 2005 at 23:06:31:

First I cracked my Bible for a name and got Heman.

I felt that was right on, given my hairy-chested manliness, but my shepherd said it ministered to my pride and gave me that name Esau, the carnal he-man who traded his birthright for a mess of pottage.

I was put on bathroom duty so I got the name Esau Pottage cleaning up the mess of the potties.

Then I had a major braking and they called me Zephaniah Burnfree, but I burned a little too free so they put on the brakes and I went through another braking. By then my brake pads were wearing thin so I was demoted to babe's status.

My name was changed to Succai the Suckling, and out of my mouth and the other babes proceeded strength. Then I became a litnesser until the day I wrote Mo about "Where is that damn comet Kohoutek after all?" and I went through another braking and they changed my name to Jonah the Doubter.

That name lasted until Halley's comet came back and the government of Ethiopia fell, so then they called me Halley Selasie.

Then they changed my name to Habakkuk the Kook. I have never yet figured that one out.

Finally I left the Family and now I'm all completely normal again. I proudly go by my legal name, Eugene Sowakowsky the Third.