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Re: Stuck

Posted by Jo on July 29, 2005 at 23:49:50

In Reply to: Stuck posted by Potzreebee on July 29, 2005 at 20:06:31:

I would certainly agree that fear was a major factor in staying. That fear was not just horrifying type of fear. It was also fear of disappointing God, failing children. I think for anything to work it has to at least have a semblance of love.

I think cults like The Family use "love" in the same way pimps do. The leader like the pimp uses "love" and makes the recruit feel special and wanted. Of course, a person recruited by a pimp knows on some level that it is bad news whereas the cult recruit often believes they are joining a worthy cause and something with purpose and meaning. At least pre-FFing.

I think an interesting study would be to look at cults like "The Family" that had huge doctrinal changes and see what it was like to join or be recruited after FFing began and the cult was sexualized.

What do you think about this? Are there any here that joined/were recruited via FFing, and what were your feelings about the cult when getting involved?

I would imagine that would be the closest comparison to the pimp thing, because it would be obvious that the group was sexualized then and that would be the route that brought a person in.

Emotional ties to a person who "loves" us is extremely powerful. And like the situation with the pimp, extremely disappointing after a time.
"Sharing" was such a bad idea. And it wasn't really "sharing" for many people.

There was always the cult personality in the sense that if I opened my mouth I should be talking about God and Jesus according to the cult and then later according to the Family and be "productive".

When I first got out and ran across a few people I had known in my past, from high school, they were shocked about the way I was. They said "You have really changed. You are not at all like you used to be."

That was pretty true. I didn't know who I was or what I liked and I was using a name I had not used for 12 1/2 yrs. It was a foreign process to decide what sorts of things I liked in music, clothes, etc.

For me it was possibly harder to adjust because I came from a very abusive family before joining the Family and I did not have safe support upon leaving. Survival was very very hard especially with kids dependent on me for all their needs.

It was a long hard trek but I am glad I am beyond the wreckage of the cult in that my family (myself and my adult children) are tight and so much has been worked through.