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My prophecies have been fulfilled!!

Posted by Grandpa's Ghost on September 14, 2005 at 16:57:09

In Reply to: The Real Sting of Cyclor's Tale posted by locke on September 14, 2005 at 06:32:13:

(Tongues & unrestrained weeping, trilling and farting, belching and more farting.)

Hallelu! I sometimes wondered if I'd LIVE to see the day mighty Amerika would be humbled, & sure enough, I didn't live to see the day. Hell! I even died before Viagra was invented so my poor limp organ was never again raised like the stiff staff of David. All those girls who worked hours to get the damn thing up can relax now! Go goose yourselves now, girls, & masturbate to Keys-us! And give us some more of those Grandpa-glorifying prophecies while you're at it! (Grandpa blows seven kisses, which equal the seven loves of David, or seven somethings ... )

Well, you've all read the news, you know Amerika has been judged just as I forsaw in my dream, "Death to the Cities." Okay, okay, so it wasn't actually fulfilled that way, but hey, when you run such a shitty, dismal record of having your prophecies fulfilled, ya gotta take what you can get and claim it as fulfilment, right?

Although I think one of you gals, dear prophetesses, was right when she suggested to Mama that my dream "The Cesspool" was being fulfilled more likely. Not talking about the cesspools and sewage that backed up in New Orleans, but talking about Family members swimming around in the sewage of my words, keeping their eyes closed to the truth while they slurped in the shit of David and believed in what I said.

(Mama: What? What are you saying?)

Mama vigorously slaps the prophetess who was the channel for Grandpa's Ghost, puts a dunce cap on her head and sends her to fast and pray.

(Mama: Could some TRUE prophetess please step up and be a true channel for Grandpa?)

(Juicy Jasmine, bouncing up and down, waving her hand: I will! Ooooo goodie! I will! I will!)

Grandpa: Wow! I'm back! What happened to my last host? No matter, I'll get used to this new one. So where was I? What was I saying? Oh yeah, about my prophecies being fulfilled! It's funny that none of you gals thought to say that my dream, "Prayer Against Our Enemies" was fulfilled. You know, dead bodies laying around everywhere! But I guess that's what comes from Mama being scared spitless to say that God was judging America.

What the hell? Are they going to even back down on passing out "Amerika the Whore?" I'll tell you, that message may be strong meat these days, but the public needs to hear it! Amerika will be destroyed by a nuclear war. Another thing, just like I dreamed in "Dreams of Jeremiah Forty" me and the kids are going to be driving around Amerika in big black limosines under a Red Communist regime. Hal! All those true, true prophecies that haven't come true WILL come true! Mark my words! I'll drive around in a limosine gloating over my enemies even if you have to take my dead body, stuff it in a coffin and shove it into the back seats of the limo beside you.

I mean, think of it! Jesus still has to return in 1993 to rapture the Family! What the hell is the Family doing about publicizing THAT message? Huh? Are they pussyfooting about that too?! I mean, all they have to do is write a one-paragraph disclaimer at the end of the letter claiming that it's not really 2005 yet, that the monks who invented our modern calendar system screwed up the dates, got'm off, and it's probably only 1986 if you'd really do the math right. We outta get some of our Family accountants to run the numbers on that, huh? Warn the world! We only got 7 years before Jesus returns in 1993, comet Kohoutek hits California and what else? Oh yeah! Atomic bombs hit America.

I can hardly wait.