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To Jim: From what I am reading

Posted by Jo on December 08, 2005 at 17:17:26

There are some people who are writing anonymously which means at least one other person than those who have written directly with their names or regular handles are saying some things that are consistent (not word for word here, but go thru the posts and you might see it).

1. You are not perceived as "listening".

2. You are described as coming across as manipulative and pushy.

3. You are described as someone not seen as trustworthy.

You may want to pay attention to this since it is coming from so many sources. I believe your intentions are good regarding your own family. I have e-mailed you personally about other issues and I don't feel like you at least acknowledged we were in the same place at some time.I don't know what the block is. I won't get into the reasons I e-mailed. I also did e-mail out of curiosity to ask what your correspondences with Peter A were about and to suggest you might want to write something to generally explain if it was more personal.

Here is where it gets tricky. First,I have not (until this post) participated anonymously or otherwise in this conversation until now.

It's confusing when you say you will publish something, but on your own site and then you say you can't publish it because yours was lost. Then it was found. Then other reasons come into play for not publishing it. Why not just say from the start that e-mails between you were regarding personal greivances to begin with rather than say you will, will not, will, will not publish them? Can you see how this causes confusion and lack of trust?

Also, when people speak anonymously I know that is frustrating, but many have spoken using their real names or their regular handles and you have not acknowledged what they are saying specifically. Like when Joseph and Jane wrote about whatever you were writing to them, you don't acknowledge that this is something to look at and "LISTEN" to and think about and may be a reason you are not trusted which hampers your own initiatives.
In the beginning many people were behind you but then many dropped out from your efforts. There are reasons for that. Would it help or harm your efforts to consider this?

From what I understand there were other efforts to speak with the FBI than your own and just because someone did not give information to you does not mean they did not under their own initiative or under another's efforts.

When it comes to harm from "The Family" past, there are many kinds of abuses. Not just sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is one of the worst. Add to that the emotional abuse and the breaking up of families. It is all very tragic.
We all deserve healing.

I think also people are reminding you that even if you were in the family for a shorter time than many, you were still a first generation member at one time. Remembering this might make you a compassionate advocate rather than a person divorcing themselves from that past while seeming to forget your own.