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The truth about Dim Peters in Korea

Posted by Grandpa & Gen. Doug on May 15, 2006 at 18:09:02

In Reply to: 'Stepping in tomorrow to fill Peters' shoes' posted by Observer on May 15, 2006 at 17:36:27:

(Grandpa’s Ghost:) Well, as you know from reading my Letters, I said that Gen. Douglas MacArthur is the main advisor to precious Mommy Maria for years now. And as you know, he’s famous for saying, “I shall return!” No, he wasn’t talking about “I shall return” to fight the Japanese in the Philippines, but he was saying, just like he landed an invasion at Inchon in Korea, he shall return to fight in Korea! And now is the day!! (Anguished tongues, weeping and incoherent babbling.)

Gen. Douglas MacArthur silently steps out of the heavenly throng surrounding Maria. Adjusting his old corn-cob pipe, he stuffs tobacco into it, lights it, then his spirit enters into Sucky, one of Mama’s most trusted prophetesses. He begins speaking:

That’s a bunch of pure bull, Dave. Still at it, are you? Let me tell you the truth here!

Grandpa’s Ghost, watching from the sidelines, bursts into bombastic gypsy tongues and rushes forward, weeping and groaning. He leaps into Sucky, knocking Gen. MacArthur out onto the floor. (Grandpa:) “Even so hath it been said and even so—”

Gen. MacArthur (to his aides): Can you get that idiot out of here? He didn’t even fight in WW2. What does he know?

Five U.S. Marine phantoms grab Grandpa’s Ghost and yank him back out of Sucky.

(Gen. MacArthur steps back in and Sucky continues speaking:) Thanks, men. Yeah, just drag him away, put him in the hold. Now, as I was saying, the battle for Korea is still in full force in the Spirit World, and I’m still needed here, the old witch Zerb has asked, “Who else but dear Dim Peters is at the forefront of this battle, who else but he is fighting for freedom, liberty and apple pie in this far off land of the Orient?” To that I say, Well, actually LOTS of people! I’ll tell you, these Koreans are dedicated, hard-working almost fanatic and they’ve been doing—

(Mama puts her hand over Sucky’s mouth:) Sucky, please remember that the great Gen. McArthur realizes that I am the most important human in the universe and that the work that Dim Peters is doing in Korea with the help of FCF funds is the most important work happening in all Korea. Got that? (Sucky nods.) Good, now you may continue prophesying.

(With an effort of will, Sucky rebukes the Devil and Gen. MacArthur is blown out the top of her head and through the ceiling.)

(Sucky takes a deep breath, then says in a deep voice:) Hi ... er ... I’m General Doug Mickey Arthur and ... um ... yeah, I’m Mommy’s spirit helper ... and, um, Dim Peters is the greatest thing happening in Korea. Those churchy Christians there are doing nothing. They’re not ... um .. yeah, they’re not doing a thing. So, yeah, Dim’s our man! I’m going to go help Dim, yeah, right now. Here I go. Okay ... I’m Gen. Douglas Mickey Arthur and I’m going now! Here I go, for real.

(Mommy Maria:) Oh, what a wonderful confirmation! We’ll have to send this off to Dim right away! He’ll be so encouraged that he has my very own spirit helper on loan.