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Australia really IS a hellhole!!

Posted by Grandpa's Ghost on July 12, 2006 at 21:02:50

I was just reading the latest news out of Australia and it's shocking! You know what?

(Maria:) What?

Scientists have dug up the fossil remains of fanged, meat-eating kangaroos and birds they call the "demon ducks of doom"! I mean, if THAT doesn't prove the Australia is a hell-hole like I've always said, nothing will!

(Maria:) These creatures aren't still alive, are they? They're extinct now, right?

Who knows? In the spirit, the past, the present and the future are all one, one big jumbled totally screwed-up mess! Sort of like me when I've had too much sherry. So in the spirit, those evil, monster-beasts and demon-ducks are STILL running around Australia right now! Horrors!

I've said that maybe in the distant past Australia was well-watered and beautiful, but that God judged it for its horrible abominable sins of devil-worship and turned the whole country into a cursed desert! Well, I change my mind! This is proof that Australia has always been evil and wicked and idolatrous!

(Maria:) Wow! That's shocking!

Tell our Homos in Australia that ... OOPS! I meant to say "Homes in Australia" but did you notice how the Devil's fighting this message getting out?! He twisted my tongue and made me say the "H" word when I totally had not intended to. That was not a Freudian slip, by the way! I think it's a sign that THAT was the predominant sin God judged Australia for. They were all Homos!

(Maria:) Were the demon ducks of doom homos too?

Must have been. That's all I can figure. HA! That would be why they all died out, they never reproduced. Ha!

(Maria:) So what were you going to tell all the Homos in Australia....?

See! There you did it too! This conversation is descending into the depths! I rebuke you, Oplexicon, you entangling, ensnaring idol! I rebuke you Goolagong! I rebuke you demon ducks of doom!

(Maria:) That's a lot of rebuking.

Did I get them all?

(Maria:) I think so. So... let me ask, What were you going to tell the Homes in Australia?

Watch out for the demon ducks of doom, that's what!! And watch out for the fanged killer kangaroos! THAT'S IT!!! That's the demon I missed!! I rebuke you, fanged killer kangaroo!

(David falls asleep.)