The Family Children of God by insidersChildren of God Family International
Home Chat Boards Articles COG History COG Publications People Resources Search site map > chatboards > genX > archives > post #27537

How To Be A Prophet

Posted by newposter on July 24, 2006 at 07:47:48

How to be a "Prophet"
in eight easy steps
Rule Number 1: Make lots of predictions, and hope that some come true. If they do, point to them with pride. Ignore the others.

Rule Number 2: Be very vague and ambiguous. Definite statements can be wrong, but "possible" items can always be reinterpreted. Use modifiers like these wherever possible:
I feel that . . .
I see a picture of . . .
It might be that . . .
Perhaps . . .
Look for . . .
I'm getting . . .

Rule Number 3: Use a lot of symbolism. Be metaphorical, using images of animals, names, initials. They can be fitted to many situations by the believers.

Rule Number 4: Cover the situation both ways and select the winner as the "real" intent of your statement.

Rule Number 5: Credit God with your success, and blame yourself for any incorrect interpretations of His divine messages. This way, detractors have to fight God.

Rule Number 6: No matter how often you're wrong, plow ahead. The Believers won't notice your mistakes, and will continue to follow your every word.

Rule Number 7: Predict catastrophes; they are more easily remembered and more popular by far.

Rule Number 8: When predicting after the fact, but representing that the prophecy preceded the event, be wrong just enough to appear uncertain about the exact details; too good a prophecy is suspect.

Nostradamus (1503-1566) did it. So can you!

from The Mask of Nostradamus, by James Randi, Charles Scribner's Sons, New York, 1990