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In Reply to: Re: The failed 'August doom' prophecy posted by Mama Mosquito on September 14, 2006 at 09:33:13:
Posted by Mama & Grandpa on August 31, 2006 at 23:29:54
(Maria: with the last hours of August passing and no fulfillment to the "End of the World in August" prophecy, dear Dad became discouraged and launched into a drunken bout of self-pity. This is something you little lambs should not do, but Dad is so special we're sure he's an exception. Dad began moaning after his fifth bottle of sherry:)
Maybe I'm a false prophet, huh, honey? Just like our enemies say? Maybe I'm a false =hic!= prophet.
(Maria: Oh no, no. That's not possible. You're the great Endtime Prophet. David of the End.)
David of the rear end by now. I'm sure the kids think I'm a false prophet.
(Maria: No, you're not.)
But it's done! August is over and here we are shitting on stacks of survival food ... I mean SITTING on stacks of survival food and no end of the Word in sight. No big August event. Well, I guess we'll have to eat this stuff all of September and October and then we'll be shitting the stuff for sure.
(Dad picks up a can of vacuum-powder potato flakes) What the hell is this stuff? It looks like styrafoam! I'll bet you anything it has white sugar in it. Throw it all out!
(Fam. member:) Whew! Yes! Throw it out! I'd hate to have to eat that dried barf.
(Dad takes another swig of sherry.) Well, it's over. I'm a false prophet. It didn't come to pass.
(Maria: Actually, maybe it wasn't YOU speaking that prophecy. Our dear prophetess Honey Buns got it and she could have got it wrong.)
Yeah, but look at what it says! "Dad says..." So she must've channeled me. I must've said it. Only I don't remember a damn thing. I don't remember telling her a WORD of anything about to happen in August! What's her name? Honey Buns? She's a false prophetess! A liar! She said I spoke through her mouth and told her "Store up the canned food! End of the world in August!" but I DIDN'T SAY ONE DAMNED WORD! At least not that I remember. I dunno, I could've said it, I could've been drunk, who knows? But I'll tell you one thing for sure: I NEVER SAID THAT! I challenge anyone to say I gave that false prophecy.
(Maria: Of course you didn't. It's Honey Bun's fault.)
I want her on silence restriction for a year! Keep her lying mouth shut!! HA! I have a better idea! Make HER eat all this damned survival food! Ha! All this dehydrated potato fluff! Without water! Ha! Then she'll know not to put words in my mouth again!
LISTEN FOLKS: I never said ANYTHING would happen in August, got that? I never said to shop for tons of survival food. All I said is, make sure you do your regular shopping, and some damn fool named Honey Buns MIS-interpreted that and made out as if I was saying to provision tons of survival food for some big event in August, blah, blah, blah.
Well, I never said it. I'm not a false prophet and whoever says I am is lying. Got that? =Hic!=
