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In Reply to: References posted by Yes please on February 26, 2007 at 19:51:35:
Official Family statements(1) in response to allegations of child sexual abuse that occurred before 1986 conflict with Berg’s descriptions of sexualized behavior between himself and five-year-old Davida Kelley. In fact, Berg’s own statements(2) about allegations of child sexual abuse are inconsistent with his descriptions of fondling Davida Kelley while drawing attention to the role of his penis in their adult/child interaction.
In the following exerpt from “Happy Birthday Dady—Happy Birthday Family!” (#1338), World Services provided a verbatim transcript of Berg’s video-taped interaction with Davida on February 18, 1981:
Berg: (119). I'M WARMING MY HANDS ON A COU'LE OF NICE BOSOMS. RIGHT? Bosoms sounds so nice & delicious & luscious & squeezy & nice & lovely! (Davida: Do you want to make some?) You want to make some? Right now? Right here? In front of the camera? (Davida: Yes!) Some love? Oh my! This girl is gettin' there fast! Well, where is she sitting? (Davida: I can't tell. On a penie!) Oh, my goodness. Shhh! You're not supposed to use these words on camera, it's against the censorship! She's sitting on Grandpa! (Davida: I thought they were fucking, actually fucking an angel!) We're not supposed to use that word on the camera, but you heard it--but you didn't hear it--) anyhow, it's an angel!
According to Berg’s 1988 statement on child abuse, charges of inappropriately sexualized behavior between adults and children in The Family were based on practices described in the Davidito Book occurring between Sara Davidito and Karen Zerby’s son, Rick Rodriguez. Berg explained this material as “only the writer’s account of her own personal experiences & opinions,” adding that “[It] is by no means any kind of policy-setting or instructional text.”(3) However, in May 1980 he says just the opposite to Family disciples in the ML “Sex Jewels” (#919, Compiled in May):
Berg: (29.) I THOUGHT THE WAY WE LIVE IS THE WAY YOU WERE LIVING. We have a little orgy now & then, we don't publicise it or do it in front of reporters, although we have had it in front of a few guests! As long as it's all in the Family, why not? I haven't hidden Davidito [EDITED: "see the new edition of The Story of Davidito book"], I have made him an example to the whole world! I haven't hidden all of our exploits in FFing & sex--I have told you about all of them. I don't think I've left any of them out, none! Why the hell are you hiding yours?
There is little doubt that Berg put his imprimateur on Family publications that were later described as speculative rather than instructive or as outright examples of pedophilic behavior. In the “The Test of Faith—And Time with Kids” (#1281, Oct. 11, 1981), the following conversation occurs between Sara [Davidito] Kelley, Maria, and Berg on the subject of introducing Davida Kelley to sitting in Berg’s lap like “the big girls do.”
Berg: (4) IF YOU WANT TO START TEACHING THE COURSE, YOU’VE GOTTA TAKE THE TEST! (Sara [Davidito]: Yes! Oh Lord!) And those are the tests. I mean, the Lord doesn’t let you teach it unless you can live it! That’s why I never tried to be a saint, I knew I couldn’t live it, so I never taught holiness or saintliness!—Ha! I just teach sex & that’s something I know I can live! Ha! (Sara: What a calling, yes!) PTL!
Berg: (9) THE TROUBLE WITH PEOPLE, THEY HAVE SUCH A FUNNY IDEA OF WHAT’S BAD! (Maria: yes!) Including a lot of good things that the Lord created to enjoy, like sex! XXX! (Sara: Hallelujah!) Mmm! Just lookin’ at you girls I can hardly keep my hands off you! The Lord gave us that hunger when we see you to want to get ahold of you & love you & kiss you & fuck ya! PTL!—So He could have lots more babies for his Kingdom!
Berg: (12) WHO WANTS TO SIT IN MY LAP?...
(14) Come Davida, come Honey. You didn’t get your lovin’ this morning. She likes to be here too. Don’t stick your knee on it though, Honey, that’s pretty hard for it. I love you. You gotta get up like this. I’ll show you how the big girls do, see? They get up like this. Now is that good? Do you like that, huh? She’s not sure if she likes it! Ha!
(15) OH SHE’S STAYING! SHE MUST LIKE IT! How’s that, huh? Give you a little ride. Feels good! It’s good exercise for me too! ILY! XXX! You smell so good! So pretty & so sexy! TYL! Hallelujah!
There is a contradiction between what Berg tells Family disciples he is doing with children in his household and what Family officials later describe as Father David’s “broach[ing] the subject of whether each and every sexual contact between an adult and minor was in fact necessarily harmful.”(4) This contradiction may be explained by Karen Zerby’s insistence that what Berg described in the paragraphs cited above constitutes “sweet affection.” In an internal document to Family disciples, Zerby explained that adult/child sexual intimacy behavior such as Berg teaching a five-year-old a seated coital position is not viewed as inherently wrong or harmful, despite awareness that such behavior is seen as pedophilic behavior by the System.
129. I'm sorry that we couldn't come out a little more forthrightly in the Child Abuse Statement, bringing out the point that all sex between adults & minors is not bad, sinful, harmful or abusive. However, the problem was that we didn't know how much we could say without putting the Family at legal risk. We wouldn't have been afraid to admit more if we had known we could do it legally, but we had to be careful and try to protect the Family, & since at the time we were unable to get any expert advice on that subject, we had to do the best we could.
130. The Lord may be forcing us to come out more with our full beliefs on this matter & to take a stand for it. Of course, this is what we have talked about & debated for months, how much should we say, how much could we say etc. The way we present this is very delicate, because on the one hand, we can get in big trouble with the System, & on the other hand, if we handle it the wrong way, there is the danger that the Family may feel that we are saying that the Letters were wrong & that what Dad had to say in those Letters was not right & was a mistake. We definitely don't believe that & we can't afford to give that impression, so we certainly have to avoid that at all costs. We certainly don't want to say that the Letters were wrong, or to say anything that will infer that the Letters were wrong, because they weren't wrong.
131. I'm really concerned about this subject, not only how to present it to the public, but also because our JETTS & Teens [children 11 years and older] seem to be overwhelmingly getting the idea that all of our sexual freedoms have been wrong. Many of them already have that idea, that the Letters must have been wrong & Dad must have been wrong all the time. Their attitudes & what they're saying now are indicating this -- that all the sexual experiences that they've had in the past have been wrong. We're hearing it from all quarters, & if we can't put something in print about it, I don't know how we're going to dispel these wrong ideas.
132. We may eventually have to come out & just say, "Look, the Letters were not wrong, & loving acts of affection, even those with a sexual tone to them, are not wrong in God's eyes. However, they're not right for us now for several reasons. Number One is because in the eyes of the System they're illegal, & therefore we must not do them any more. Number two; they usually have not born very good fruit. -- Not because of the act itself, but because a relationship between younger people & older ones seems to be too distracting. We've found that relationships between teens & adults for the most part do not seem to bear very good fruit in their lives & ministries. Number three, because of their misunderstandings about the subject, younger people may not be ready for any kind of sexual involvement until they are older, because they have a lot more things to learn, they have a lot of other things to concentrate on & it doesn't seem that it bears very good fruit. So we do not do it & its banned and forbidden.
133. However, that does not mean that loving affection between two people, regardless of age, provided it's not hurtful & both parties like it & want it, is wrong in God's eyes. But in the present moral climate of the World today it is wrong for us as it hurts the Work of God. "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient!" (1Cor6: 12)
134. I feel we need to somehow explain to our JETTS and Teens that love & loving affection is not wrong. As it says in the Letters, if it's not hurtful, if it's loving, then it's okay. Of course, having actual intercourse with a child wouldn't be okay as it wouldn't be loving, but a little fondling & sweet affection is not wrong in the eyes of God, & if they have experienced the same in the past they weren't "abused." We need to somehow help them understand that these things aren't wrong & the Letters about them aren't wrong, it's just because of the System's very strong restrictions on such things & the severe punishment that they hand out for it, it is no longer fitting & proper for us to do it.
135. Of course, I realise there is a certain risk in declaring that there's nothing wrong with it in God's eyes, & we've been hesitant to publicly proclaim that. However, I don't know that we could get in any more hot water than we're already in by saying that we believe that there's nothing wrong with loving affection in ideal circumstances & ideal times. I'd be surprised if legally they could prosecute you for what you believe if you don't act on it. Even if the whole rest of the World believes that sexual fondling of children is wrong & we say we believe it's okay, but we don't do it, I don't think they could do anything to you.
136. It's an explosive hot subject, but maybe the Lord is going to force us to take a stand on it eventually & be truthful about it, as we have been about everything else, because the Devil has just got the whole World hood-winked about this! All of a sudden everything that has anything to do with sexual overtones is completely vile & evil & wicked, even though many of them produced very good experiences & were helpful & sweet. But it doesn't matter to the System whether it was good or whether it was selfish & lustful & bad, to them it's all bad now.
137. Are we going to just go along with that & promote that idea & continue to be part of the Devil's great deception & lie just because we're afraid of what might happen if we tell the Truth? We haven't held back the full Truth on any other point that I can think of. We're even coming out and telling the truth about the Jews now. This is about the only subject where we're really going along with the System, we're playing along with them, we're acting like we believe what we did was wrong, because we have changed, and stopped doing it. In other words, we're saying by inference that we do believe it's wrong, because look, we don't do it any more. No wonder our teens are getting the idea that it was all evil. --Of course they're getting this idea because by our actions & rules, without a full explanation, that's what we're saying!
138. Perhaps we could at least write something explaining this to our own kids. Of course, our enemies will get it fairly quickly & will use it against us, but maybe we need to take that risk for the sake of our kids & the Truth. I just feel that we need to explain to our kids that any experience they may have had along these lines, if it was loving & if it was desired, was not wrong. We need to show them that even if in some case the experience for them wasn't so great, that by comparison to what goes on in the System, it still wasn't "abuse."
139. It's a very explosive & sensitive issue, & could get us in trouble, but I'm very concerned, as are many of you, about the effect it will have on the Family if we don't say something. Of course, by saying something we risk incurring more trouble from the System, but in some ways I feel that it may be worth the risk, because the System hates us no matter what we say or don't say. Not bringing up the issue is going to make them love us or accept us. They're out to get us, & no matter what we do or don't do they'll still fight us as long as we exist if we're witnessing & living for Jesus. So maybe it's more important to take the risk in order to strengthen the faith of our JETTS and teens
SUMMIT '93 MAMA JEWELS! --#2. For Summit Use Only!
LOVE, AFFECTION & SEX!
CONCERNS ABOUT CA [CHILD ABUSE] QUESTIONS:
PRESENTING IT TO THE PUBLIC & EXPLAINING IT TO THE FAMILY
Footnotes:
1. Our Replies to Allegations of Child Abuse, June 1992.
2. Child Abuse?! An Official Statement, December 1988.
3. Op. Cit.
4. Our Replies to Allegations of Child Abuse, June 1992.
