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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #29999

How I did it, maybe this will help.

Posted by To Pangea from MG on September 25, 2007 at 01:15:31

In Reply to: Re: Benefit of the doubt posted by Coordinator on September 24, 2007 at 22:41:00:

I've had amends to make to my children and to the SGs I taught, often my job in the Fam. was being a teacher so I went public with an apology on Movingon on the page they offer to FG posts "Generations". (see )

Of course the process doesn’t mean now that I’ve said “I’m sorry” I’m all better now and walk down the yellow brick road. I still feel bad about that past, sometimes worse than ever, having remorse is something I accept, I live with, I can’t change it. Everyone’s situation is different and each of us has our own particular struggle with our own triumphs and defeats, joys and sorrows.

Also my legal name’s not “out there”, but if it was I think the advice “excog” gave down below is tremendous and I certainly would go with it for better or for worse: “Some of us have had our legal name out there in years of cult awareness work and have had to put up with the results of our desire for social justice and eagerness to right some wrongs and find a voice for us AND others.

Yet, we are not crying and complaining 'get our names off of google.' I can give a rat's ass about google. I have had to face much tougher shit in life -and STILL do! Unfortunately, there are some uncomfortable effects to many actions and issues in life. We have to cope with it and have had to cope with it.

If someone brings the issue up, I deal with it. Confidence helps and it goes a long way. Of course, not everyone will love us, but hey, that is the way life is.”


That leaves the question of the effects of things that might occur to the children. Even if there's repercussions, I think of all the effect being born into and raised in the Fam has had on my kids already, just the adjustment issues last years and years, and these they have met with both success and defeat. There's no easy solution, no quick fix as all of the discussion her illustrates. So we think "Why add to it?" But nothing's being added, it's already there, I have friend who says "It is what it is." So it is what it is.