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To SS: How can everybody be helped?

Posted by Wondering on September 28, 2007 at 01:32:16

I was thinking, what if Sara D came here and wanted to get on with her life, have articles removed? What would be the price to pay?
For awhile, I remembered what she was like before getting sucked into a leadership position. I couldn't imagine her doing the things that she did later. I wonder if she hates herself for that now. What if Sara D came here and admitted her actions, blew the lid off the whole deal? Wht if no one protected her because she cried and seemed sorry though still FM or whatever she may be now.
I used to picture Sara as she was BEFORE berg instituted his insane appetite for destruction. That is when I knew her. I have read accounts of experiences of those that survived very serious abuse. Realizing how very serious the abuse got, some lines crossed just can't be erased by "moving on" as in, getting educated and feeling a general sorrow for what one was involved in.
I do believe there is a distinct difference when people in a government cross lines that go against what is socially acceptable on a worldwide basis and those actions cause undeniable harm. Like with the Khmer Rouge. Right now, decades later, some of their most heinous leaders are having to account for what they instituted UNDER THE INFLUENCE of POL POT. Not every leader, not every "FG" of their movement, but serious identified perps. I am sure that after three decades, those perps have "moved on" in some ways, like gotten education, maybe businesses, whatever.
But they cannot fully move on without accounting for their position in that insanity.

Child molestation, whether the adult was under the influence of the cult or not, is one such line crossed. So is rape. So is serious physical or psychological abuse and especially when all of this is systematically instituted and practiced.

I don't see that there is a way out without being gut level HONEST about what is known about what a person participated in. This isn't "mote and beam" stuff. This is institutionalized child rape and torture in the name of Jesus. Yes, adults were raped and tortured, too, in many cases as part of Berg's mixture of Hitlerian and Maoist Cultural Revolution CULT practice. But wasn't the Family a microcosm of larger societies gone awry under despotic dictators and their totalitarian regimes?
Are there not some that became Mengeles and Ms. Mao's within the family?
It's great that people move on and it is SAD SAD SAD that for some to come to grips with the past, their personal children will suffer yet again. If I was a child of leaders of a combo where children were systematically raped and tortured and some were raped by my own parents, it would hurt like hell to see my parents that I have forgiven, the ones that have done a lot for their own family and to better themselves, having to account for actions taken while in a high position at a seriously abusive location and say, in clear language, what EXACTLY happened there, and what was doctrine and how they personally participated in it.

I don't doubt there were times that seemed more innocuous, like fixing vans and singing songs or anything that got a person off of silence restriction, sign wearing humiliation, rubber band therapy for smiling problems or that took them away from a bedroom, bathroom or outdoor spot where some adult could grab them and use them.

How did Warren Jeffs make FBI most wanted? Someone had to finally bring charges against that cult and NAME HIM and hold him accountable even though they were alienated from the only life they ever knew. I am sure that while Warren Jeffs is hurting, his personal families are hurting too. The cult leader has been deposed and his abused children now have to deal with that humiliation.
What happened in the family was as bad and even worse than what Jeffs did.
A difference here seems to be a couple's willingness to say they did wrong. But are generalities enough? What is further needed is like crawling through shards of glass naked. That would be to say straight out, that YES, child sexual abuse was FAMILY DOCTRINE at a Mexico combo (or whatever it was called), that as shepherds of a combo where many have alleged that they were systematically abused that it's NOT allegations, it's fact. HERE IS HOW it is fact, (the ex-shepherds could say:) we were there, we were the shepherds and WE DID IT. Not only did we do it, virtually every other adult auntie or uncle there (or several others there) did it too. It was doctrine and it was wrong and we were leaders there. Whatever "It" ws that was done which a person is sorry for would have to be described as painful as "IT" would be to do.

I can't think of anything in the whole world that would be more painful to do. If people who were molested and brutalized choose NEVER to forgive or forget, that is their perogative. Forgiveness is icing on the cake. But this isn't about getting the icing. This is about the missing factor in helping people move on and that is accountability.

What if every exer that raped a child in the family owned up to it? Rape being "had sex" or sexually fondled a child who was a minor, by law?

I do realize that with doctrines the way they were going, that MANY MANY PEOPLE had to have engaged in child sexual abuse and that it was much more the norm than many would like to admit. I'd guess it was the NORM at any combo once berg instituted "combos" and "jumbos" because that is where children were shipped to have trusted (by berg) adults train them to be the little sexual objects berg wanted all his (perceived) children to be.
Why not say so? In doing this, the youth that were hurt might be able to move on, still scarred but it takes more than I AM SORRY. It takes naming the deeds. Tell the ages of kids you had sex with. How many children were involved in it, while in (not by bergs definition of child) in the name of conditioning them to be objects for Berg. Screw the fact that you might have believed you were doing some sick God's service. JUST TELL IT LIKE IT IS.
See a therapist while you are doing this so you don't kill yourselves. I believe you are out and you are sorry, but generalized sorry won't help the people to move on that desperately need to hear, directly from the people that hurt them- FOR WHAT EVER REASONS, that their experiences were REAL and DID HAPPEN *very impt to hear this from the people that did the harm* and it WAS WRONG.