The Family Children of God by insidersChildren of God Family International
Home Chat Boards Articles COG History COG Publications People Resources Search site map > chatboards > genX > archives > post #30566

Re: I was also in the family starting 1978

Posted by on February 07, 2008 at 21:12:49

In Reply to: Re: I was also in the family starting 1978 posted by luna on February 06, 2008 at 08:05:56:

You are a remarkable woman of God, and I salute you! You went from a naive and impressionable young woman who truely wanted to give herself to God's work, turned into someone who doubted her own intuition, fearful and ashamed, into this brilliant testamony of God's grace and wisdom. You are someone anyone would want to call a friend!
"...I felt sick and guilty of witnessing this things. My upbringing was conservative catholic and quite authoritarian, and with many things I disagreed but in the Family many dont's of my prior life just became doe's. Among the ones who used God to pursue their own desires there were also many truly humble, honest believers who just weren't strong and intelligent enough to think for themselves and as result just followed the leaders. they had to go out every day and beg for money (and give mo letters to passers by) to give much of it to the leaders. Women thought they were doing the Lord's work by having sex with strangers, but most of those strangers just saw them as prostitutes even if they didn't ask for money. But again everyone wanted to please God by pleasing the leaders and following the letters, and it was quite something if you had some nice stories to share with the others in the meetings. Peer pressure was big and the system was the enemy. Not everywhere where I came were people doing bad things, but the letters were mostly taken very seriously and followed. I was nearly 19 when I met the group an knew nothing of the world. 4 years later I had 3 children and knew one thing for sure: I had to go away or nothing would be left of me and my ability to use my own discerning power. I was also very much concerned about my responsibility as mother towards my children, whom I was afraid I wouldn't be able to protect and bring up in a way that they later could make their own choices in life. "