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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #31103

Re: There was probably some history

Posted by Educator on September 16, 2008 at 13:20:14

In Reply to: Re: There was probably some history posted by Coordinator on September 15, 2008 at 02:44:26:

Thanks for your clarifications, Coordinator. As I previously wrote, I realized I might be missing something in the conversation. However, I don't think that it was the triggering effect of certain words that I missed, as CB pointed out to me.

I am well of triggering words and their effects on some people here. What I didn't understand was the apparent double standard of one poster being reprimanded for using a trigger word or phrase, but the other poster was not.

From my perspective, the word "mission", especially when it is used in the context of purposely trying to trigger people on this site (which the poster admitted to), is far more offensive and triggering. It seemed to me that there was no malicious intent by the first poster (their English is a bit wobbly though so I don't know for certain), but there was by the second poster, so that's why I reacted the way I did (I guess you can say I was triggered too.) And that's why I said you might have over-reacted because I didn't see your response as a balanced one. But then, perhaps you too were triggered by all this.

What I think I missed is what you have now explained, which is that there is some prior history here, which was not entirely clear to me at first, and that you have communicated privately about this with at least one of the two parties, so there is more to the story than just the face value of the posts here.

I realize your task here is difficult and it is hard to please everyone. I think people (and I include myself) have to take some responsibility for shielding themselves from situations in which they think they might be triggered. If a "youngish" person comes to a chatboard that they know or suspect is frequented mostly by "old farts" they have to know that they are likely to be offended by something someone says. I think it is disingenuous for that person to then cry fowl when someone uses a word or phrase they don't like.

There is a better way of dealing with triggering words than by setting off even more triggers. But who am I to speak? I think I'm getting triggered just talking about triggers. :)