Posted by CB on February 10, 2011 at 13:30:15
In Reply to: Re: Vineyard posted by OT2 on February 09, 2011 at 17:10:37:
Sounds like a boatload of interpersonal conflict. I can only suggest what I would do if I were in your situation.
1. Make a grudge list. Who I resent and Why. Include institutions and beliefs as well as people.
2. Figure out what the conflict/resentment affects, where I have "skin in the game." Does it have to do with my self-esteem, ambition, well-being or personal relationships?
3. Ask myself: How much of the resentment is motivativated by a self-centered fear I will lose or not get something I think I need or want? In my experience, fear is the corrosive thread that runs throughout most situations characterized by resentment.
I can't do a whole lot about the garbage someone else has dumped, but I can take a look at my own crap and try to manage it better. It may be true that the person who offended me is full of shit. I think it makes no sense to argue about where the other guy's crap begins and mine ends. Even though I may not be entirely at fault in the situation, I try to stay focused on where I have skin in the game. As far as the other guy is concerned, I just pray that I'm alert when there's an opportunity for me to be kind, tolerant, and forgiving.