In Reply to: primed for the Family posted by Annoni on October 02, 2002 at 07:09:08:
Hi Announi, I relate to that totally. That God that is like a police copter co pilot with a light flashing down watching every move you make that you have been taught is not from "him". I don't like the bible because of it's primarily male dominated and controlled stories of rape, murder, incest, and where it is "positiv", it is still largely men speaking. And so much telling women they have a lower place. Wuuuurg!!
Now,I just believe that there is energy that works positively and negatively. And I know I can only determine what that means to me. I guess that is progress. And that part about going to church; In my life of church prior to the family, men were priests (binge Catholic as a child, or, in other words, go to church when daddy feels guilty and sends us "bitches" and "sluts" to church for being such heathens..) There, a catholic priest told me I would go to hell unless I attended Catholic school. (Never did)He gave me a huge list of penance prayers, probably because I so rarely confessed, and because it was usually that I had said "Goddamn it" and hated my parents. So I was the bad girl. No priest ever bothered to ask WHY I said it or wished I could be away from my family of origin. Too busy chasing the alter boys around I guess. I mean, they should have women priests now, and give those alter boys a break!
On the other hand my mother was into her card reading, ouija etc. that was hidden from my father. That, she used to control. So I hated it all. I left home on my 18th birthday and joined the f. just shy of a few months after turning 18.
Of course, there was a communal pretense of "love" and lots of other people who were probably mostly in their 20's. It was that big shower of love and concern. Boy were we baited by a big ugly hook underneath that enticing bait. We were not stupid. Just vulnerable. Hope we can support each other in recovering from that, in whichever way helps each individual the most. Hope to keep reading your posts.