In Reply to: Re: How do we measure guilt and blame posted by Rocky on January 22, 2003 at 03:13:02:
Thanks for your reply. I did say I would take shit from all sides for saying that, but at least give me shit for what I did say or mean to say :)
Well, maybe it was insensitive of me. But it made sense at the time :) I did say that what the SGs went through was unparalleled. I did not mean to minimize their suffering in anyway. My ship disaster anaolgy was just to support Goth's post about how survival instincts take over. I did say "IF" the F. could be likened to a disaster.
A lot of parents like Goth left way before any of the institutionalized abuse happened. Some left as soon as the DAvidito book came out. Speaking for myself, I left as soon as I figured out what the letters were going to do to my children.
That was probably running in the back of my mind when I mentiond the ship disaster story. I wanted to help the other children but couldn't. In the end I could only take care of my own. I even stuck around trying to change things from the inside.The shepherds I spoke to about my concerns advised me to be patient, change was around the corner (haven't we heard that one before).
We don't have to agree on the "karmic" thing, I don't expect many to understand how I see it. But to clarify, if I can manage (I have a fever and I'm kinda muddy and confused), to me it is similar, but not the same, how FGs gave their parents such a hard time and blamed them for choices they made, and how SGs are now blaming FGs. The common factor is blame. I don't think it's strictly the same in a black-and-white sense, and I certainly am not saying SGs deserve anything because of their parent's sins or anything like that (that's not my understanding of it, so perhaps Karmic is the wrong word). But I do see patterns of behavior spread out over several generations. I see a link between what radical angry FGs did to rebel and drop out, and I see SGs fighting to re-integrate as part of the same cycle, if you know what I mean. And, I NEVER meant that SG's out of the family are carrying on the abuses of the FGs. But I do say that if and when they get black-and-white say all FGs are guilty as Berg for tithing, they are behaving just like their FG parents once did, blaming thir systemite parents for supporting the Vietnam war just by paying taxes.
One good example of what I mean is the way my parents forced me to play an instrument. I hated it. When I had my own children and they took up an instrument, I didn't want to make them feel pressure in any way. I didn't want them to not be able to enjoy playing in freedom at home, to be aware that I was scrutinizing their playing or judging them. So the result, is, I never gave them any pressure at all, and now they say, "you could at least have supported us when we interested in learning, now we can't play anything at all." We all have our ghosts.
If nothing else, since I'm doing such a poor job of explaining myself, I hope you'll take my word for it: I DO KNOW how dreadfully unique the family's abusive doctrines and practices really were/are and the impact they had on an innocent generation. And I am doing a lot to make it known!