In Reply to: How do we measure guilt and blame posted by Jane on January 22, 2003 at 15:42:50:
Hey, I was still in when the dito books came out, but remember that there was a silent ignorance and repulsion that was not expressed because of the training to believe that lack of agreement(whether active or just by raising a question) was tantamount to spiritual weakness and the good ole devil. By the way, FFing, and child abuses were gradually introduced and so I think it is very possible that SGs could erroneously believe that their parents willingly joined and sacrificed them to a sex cult because that was their experience in the cult. I got out way before that. Also, no one I was around in Europe at that time ever did it. In some countries child porno is legal (or was) Like in Denmark. Does that make it right in my sane opinion? Hell no. Did Berg use the bible, different cultures to try and put normalcy to his perversions? YES.
It is weird because I know I would not have been capable of doing that because of my own experienced abuse and my reactions to that abuse. There are people who were in leadership positions that I do not hold accountable for what they did to me under the influence of the group. Why? Because they got out and are thinking differently. Some I don't know whether they are out or not. But I am sure some sorry people were perverts and joined the fam when this was all in full swing, or had those tendencies in check until Berg opened up the floodgates. I won't go into my personal experiences again. Some people think that is being a victim, and FGs aren't safely allowed that in some circles. If it is not safe to reveal, by all means I will shut up. I am aware from reading the boards and different stories that many SGs went thru real horrors with the victor camps. Some FGs did also. If i would generally compare the two populations, the balances weigh heavily on the SG side for damage in certain ways. And heavily for FGs more in other ways.
That e-mail I printed was from the writer of the book on Ultra Authority who is referred to on the SG site. I e-mailed her myself. I see you misread the context. No, no one said SGs were uppity, but it was more about the divisions between people and generations (parent vs. child, partner vs. partner)that the family set up to begin with. My point was, and the point of the two e-mails, was with regard to responsibility. So this is someone the SGs refer to themselves responding to my inquiry regarding fam. divisions. I inquired because I was not aware of the de-gression of the family for the many years that I was out until about a year ago. This writer made an interesting point that it is good for both sides to try and view things thru the others shoes as much as possible. I believe I have done that. And I didn't feel like the SGs exaggerated anything (maybe underexaggerated) or made up anything. I know they didn't. I have had some pretty severe child sexual and physical abuse in my past and one of the greatest hurts as an adult was to have it not believed or invalidated, or insulted with being called a liar and to see the perpetrators financially and physically being well off and myself in bad shape in many ways. So I would NEVER want to invalidate anyone. But i believe in healing and would like to pursue that with a vengeance. :) Please ask me if something I have said comes across with a bad feeling to you and be specific if you will or want to, because I know written words without discussion or without knowing the person are easily interpreted in many different ways. I have done this countless times reading others posts.