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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #7146

I have thrown away my yardstick....

Posted by goth88 on January 24, 2003 at 15:31:33

In Reply to: Not quite what I meant posted by Donny on January 24, 2003 at 11:59:15:

When it comes to deciding who is more guilty than another what do you measure it by, who does the measuring, who decides how to judge? I think it comes down to a personal inside job. No one can really tell anyone what they should do. This is not Nuremburg, FGs are not Nazis on trial to see where they screwed up. Berg was the master perpetrator. And some perpetrators who by nature, are such. I am thinking that people under the influence of the group that did things that they did not like or felt bad about, but wrong for feeling that way, come out of the family with much more to deal with, personally. Unless there are specific perpetrators, and specific victims that wish to go to court aware of what court can do to a person, too.
Comparisons, to me, keep me in the problem. I want to be solution oriented. I think it serves no purpose other than a negative one to focus on one collective group determining the guilt/not guilt of another collective group. If anyone deserves "reparations",imo, it is all of us exers of all ages. And any individuals that have issues with individuals that are specific criminal matters to pursue, that is between the victim(s) and the named perpetrators. No one can force understanding OR(unless via criminal prosection) guilt and blame. And still the individual perp may not be sorry. The worst ones usually arent. I am for the rebuilding of self esteem, or in some cases, the ground floor development of it. Hurray for the human spirit! Hope is there for the grasping. I am changing in my own search. It is a daily challenge. I don't see myself as more victim than anyone else here. Maybe less. But I threw my yardstick away so I won't go into that one. I left with 3 kids. I can't imagine leaving with 5 and having to leave any behind. Did you ever watch the film, "Sophies Choice"?
We were ALL hurt, everyone. And we all deserve healing. And we can have that! Donny, I see you as a great guy, so I am just saying these things as thoughts, not directed to you or anyone specifically. Just generally.