In Reply to: But does that make you very employable? posted by Thinker on February 24, 2003 at 19:40:37:
...and since you are talking about 'arbeiten' (work) let us talk about lieben (love) since Freud mentions love AND work.
Even when you have done everything you possibly can to keep rebuilding your life it takes only dating one high paid professional who wonders who come a very interesting woman like YOU has not made more out of her life...how come you are not financially very stable, how come you have so many children...how come how come and the list never ends. If what people have is the product of who they are or this is the assumption, (and as you say there is SOME truth to that) HOW can anybody explain these things to someone met only for a few coffees without finding oneself in the very difficult position of HAVING to disclose? That is an impossible position anyway, so the romantic lives of ex-cult members can be very affected by that. Of course I am talking about singles, and it seems to me most of the people around are instead married so they may not know about this stuff.
can you say, oh but you don't understand...I used to FF guys like you and for them it was OK THEN....whereas people like YOU now want guarantees and want to understand just what kind of woman you may be getting involved with? The romantic enterprise at that point becomes like a job interview, especially in a country like the US, because let us face it, the economic bottom line here is very important, and people who made something out of their life are trying to understand just WHO you are when some things do not add up.
It is a very complex issue. It seems the fallout never ends, no matter how many years one puts into rebuilding, education, etc.