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Re: how refreshing

Posted by A husband on March 04, 2003 at 22:16:54

In Reply to: how refreshing posted by Singles anonymous on March 04, 2003 at 20:45:32:

Were you a little patronizing or am I being over-sensitive?

You wrote:
Please tell me how it felt for you when you had to have sex with a 'needy' sister.

I never "had to to have sex". There is this joke that if I got it up it wasn't rape. Is that what you mean? Well in that case I wanted the sex. The 2 times I didn't enjoy it I went through the motions. Once I tried to talk. A few times I turned down situations where minors were involved.

You wrote:
What would go thru your head when you made love with your wife? Could you even get it up for her when you knew she'd just been with another man?

She would come back and give me graphic details, anything from dick sizes to what their ejaculate tasted like. She (we) had this twisted idea jealousy didn't exist, and if it did, I was just supposed to get over it. This really really messed me up. Her body was no longer mine, something special we shared exclusively. The romance and innocence was gone forever. To be honest, her vagina felt used somehow, don't make me get into details please! Her prostituting herself destroyed us, not only our sex life permanantly.

FFing was something that crept up on me. I never believed my wife would end up doing it. When she started FFing it happened very suddenly without any warning. I came home one day to find out she'd left our 2 young children with another sister, who'd talked her into going out FFing. She came back with $1000 and said she'd done nothing for it except sit beside someone all night. This progressed into ESing, and 1 hour "massages" which was nothing but pure prostitution. All sanctioned by the group and Berg happy to see the $ rolling in.

You wrote: How did you explain it to your children everytime they'd see mommy get dressed for the night?

They were too young to know anything and never really asked. Later as teenagers, even though they left when they were very young, they started putting things together and figuring it out for themselves. The guilt I feel towards them for letting their mother go FFing is not something that has ever diminished 2 decades later. How would I ever explain that to them? How could any self respecting father not go out and earn enough for his family, and have his wife go out like that?