In Reply to: Re: Into the minds (and hearts) of men..... posted by A husband on March 07, 2003 at 10:44:33:
I'll try to answer your questions. your first one was, What was it like for you to have your wife/loved one fucked by other men?
I was only briefly mated & not married & believed in the law of love so it just happened & was not big deal. I think you assumed I had found true love & was deeply in love but this was not the case, we were simply two people thrown together by convenience & who sort of liked each other.
Describe what you went thru. Was it a big struggle? How did you cope with it?
It was not but it sure would have been if we been deeply in love & people had tried to break us up. But you'll have to ask others with different experiences for that information.
The times that you shared with other women, beyond the sex, did you enjoy it? Were there times when you had feelings for them?
Of course the physical feelings were great and I remember really hitting it off with some women & loving their personalities & company. They were fascinating & fun & so smart. I wanted to develop a relationship but they had no interest. They were just occasion sharing partners who had no interest in me beyond the fact that they were sacrificially sharing with a single brother. To some of them I was just a job or assignment but considering that they didn't super want to be there in the first place, I can't complain of their not wanting my attention. Now there were other women who wanted to be with me & have dates with me but in that case I was the one not interested.
Did you ever feel bad or guilty for ‘taking advantage’ of them? Or did it even occur to you as such?
Women shared with me who didn't want to & I also shared with women I didn't want to be with, so I guess it all worked out the same. We all thot we were sacrifically giving our bodies to each other to fulfill the law of love. I never dreamed of breaking up someone else marriage or stealing someone else's mate or girlfriend. The married women I had sex with either willingly enough did or actually wanted to.
To another ex-brother: how did you feel about the sharing? Because you were shy, didn’t it make sex more easily accessible, hence providing a built-in dating service for you?
You have got to be kidding!!! Because I wasn't one of those testosterone-filled machos out there at the front of the line pushing myself on the most beautiful sisters around, I missed out on a lot of sex. I was often too shy to ask & if I did ask & was refused, I was crushed & would probably never ask again. How could I even compete with those machos who wouldn't take no for an answer? For them all the wining & dining & niceness was all an act & a game that ended with them fucking the girl.
It might surprise you to know that I spent a lot of time masturbating because all the girls I was interested in were either being chased by the pushy studs, or else the girls I was interested in were chasing the leaders with money & the power to wine & dine them. I had sex but not near as much as the guys who pushed themselves upon women.
You were looking for love and a long-term relationship, did the free sex confuse the issue?
Of course. The worldly song kept coming back to me. 'Tonight the light of love is in your eyes. But will you still love me tomorrow?' & the answer was no. They would have sex with me for an hour or two at night but they would rarely even sleep the night with me. And when I passed them during the next day there was no contact or look of love. I was an assignment.
I can't complain because they could have refused to even be with me. Maybe they should have refused to have sex with me & I should have refused to have sex with the women that wanted me, then we all would have left the Family that much sooner looking for sex & meaningful relationships.
You seem to have had almost nothing but brothers pushing themselves on you when you didn't want them. That tells me that you are a beautiful woman. Perhaps if you were not quite so attractive you would have ended up with the more sincere sensitive guys who were always at the back of the line.