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To Husband and Another x-b

Posted by Singles anonymous on March 07, 2003 at 21:03:05

In Reply to: Re: Into the minds (and hearts) of men..... posted by Another ex-brother on March 07, 2003 at 14:46:38:

I am overwhelmed. Thank you both so much for your candidness and your sincerity. Disclosing some of your very personal and intimate details am sure took a lot of courage, I admire you for that. I feel like we just bonded. Your responses are contributing greatly to my processing of my own issues with sex, relationships, and men in general. I've never witnessed much less made to feel the sensitive side of men while in TF. And have been sceptical of it even now with the men I've had after leaving. We do have a lot in common after all. The hurt, the betrayal, the disillusionment about love.

Yes, we did have our innocence when we joined for I believe that is a big factor for why we joined. That we lost it in the process IS a death we all went through. A big part of us died while we took on an alien identity. I think Another x-b is right when he said "Maybe they should have refused to have sex with me & I should have refused to have sex with the women that wanted me, then we all would have left the Family that much sooner". But hindsight is always 20/20. Much of the mental programming was designed to kill our instincts, what we knew in our gut to be right/wrong. Couple that with daily doses of spiritual abuse little wonder why we participated even willingly to the propagation of the "heaven on earth" (sic). I hope we can continue our dialogues. I think my journey has just reached a high note.

I still have one question left unanswered but maybe it's too bold and revealing (re: fatherless children) so I'll switch to a more esoteric subject: love. After leaving TF, how did you reconcile the "Law of Love" with reality? I know Husband already answered this in part in how it worked/didn't work for him then. How is it now? Is it working for you now? Does having another exer as your wife/gf help? Did it work for you with a non-exer? Thank you in advance for your thoughtful replies.