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Were you a good husband/father?

Posted by Former Shit husband on May 16, 2005 at 23:50:39

It has been more than 2 years since I wrote about the pain I lived through (and continue to live through), for having been a shit husband. I define a shit husband as anyone who lets his wife go out there and service other men sexually for money.

Though never enough can be said, much has been shared about the pain and victimization of women who were duped/forced into being baby factories and sex slaves. What I tried to do was shed some light on the subject of men being caught up in the mess and becoming victim-perpetrators themselves.

"Men want to be loved and respected too. No self-respecting male would prostitute his wife. When we got brainwashed into FFing, men lost their self-worth too."

At the time I wrote that and several lengthy posts in the series, I was surprised by the lack of response from other male former members. As a man, I still feel shame and remorse today. How could I have let/encourage my wife to do all those things with other men?

I don't mean to imply that not speaking up means you are still guilty of being the same person you were back when you were a victim-perpetrator, nor am I implying that speaking up on the boards is an obligatory part of your process, but doesn't any other male former member relate to what I was talking about? Didn't FFing and sharing victimize you in some way too? How does that affect you today? Care to share your thoughts?

(You can find what I wrote by doing a search - "Search for Posts" on the left, locate posts in the archives by "A husband" in spring 2003, or go to genx archive 008 and search for posts by "A husband")