The Family Children of God by insidersChildren of God Family International
Home Chat Boards Articles COG History COG Publications People Resources Search site map
exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #23830

I don't doubt Eva's story

Posted by Goth88 on November 06, 2005 at 16:59:11

In Reply to: Re: Making out with your kids???? posted by Farmer on November 06, 2005 at 01:22:42:

In about 1980 or 81 I was in a small home in a small town in Switzerland. There were actually two homes beside each other. A woman who had been in Berg's household who had a daughter that was not with her, was sent to our area and became shepherdess along with another woman. FFing was in full swing and I was avoiding it because of triggers from the past. I remember the one shepherdess trying to put her male companion off on me because he was wanting sex all the time and she got interested in this one particular other guy in the midst of all the FFing. I resisted. Then I was treated like a leper. At first the one woman who hadn't been in Berg's household as far as I know was sympathetic and then the other woman "jaqueline" kind of took over and they both became very cruel together.
I would be criticized for how I drank COFFEE. I kid you not. Then they arranged an orgy and I didn't know they were doing that. Myself and another woman, West German were there. She had a baby named Melanie and I had my sons. They were very young, her child a toddler. The women came out of the bathroom and stripped to music. An orgy was called a "Communion". She and I took our kids and left the room. I put mine to sleep and had severe panic attacks, feeling like God was going to kill me for resistance.
I know these things happened WIDESPREAD. It didn't happen all the time and was probably enforced more depending on who leadership was.
That same leader that became "mean" had a nervous breakdown and after being hospitalized, was sent to this town and was real nice then. The breakdown occurred as a result of the Family's practice of "sharing" and encouragement of men to have more than "one wife". She had become a second wheel in her relationship and snapped.
I knew this same person years before in Denmark before she ever had kids. She was a delightful person, basically.
The family dehumanized, humiliated and degraded people with their doctrines. Especially women. Depending where a person was I can understand the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. I protected my children, but I don't know what might have happened had I been in the place Eva was when she was there.
I will say too, and I am going to be straight out brutally honest here, the whole atmosphere in the early eighties was sexualized AROUND CHILDREN. Though people may not have been pulling them into their beds everywhere, children were seeing adults go out to FF, seeing adults "sharing", there were no locks on bathroom doors anyplace I went that I can remember. No privacy.
The atmosphere was like "Pretty Baby" with Jesus as King pimp daddy in the sky speaking through berg. THAT WAS COMMON THEN.
It was breaking me down. I left on an impulse because I knew I would not make it mentally. There was a push to India then and we were raising funds for that trip that would have made my children possibly be separated from me and sent to some camp or school. I don't know about Eva but I was a single parent so there was no one to talk to.
It's pretty damn horrible what happened to women to kids, to men to everyone under that oppressive reign of physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and sexual terror.
I am just glad I got my kids out of there and that everything came together to be able to do that. Otherwise they would have become molesters or been molested or learned to have sex with Jesus and imagine having vaginas, but no, I actually think they would have been one of the youth that jumped off a roof or killed someone.
PLEASE, just don't say it didn't happen. It did. It came from the top, David Berg, and it was enforced depending upon which leadership a person was around or what a person was like in their own home.
"Sharing" with minors was condoned. I remember hearing about Leila having sex with a ten year old. That is all hearsay, but I know I was encouraged to have sex with a 16 yr old and how that would be sharing the love of God when I was in my late twenties. I didn't do it. There was no leadership to enforce it.
What did I do? I let other men abuse me and submitted because I felt God could kill me. THEN I LEFT THE F'ING FAMILY BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER GOD KILL US ALL THAN HAVE MY KIDS BE F'D.
So yes, it was COMMON. AND IT WAS WIDESPREAD. Even in my little outer Siberian Swiss home of losers within the family.