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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #23985

Re: what do you mean by:

Posted by Goth88 on November 09, 2005 at 22:02:04

In Reply to: Re: what do you mean by: posted by tazy on November 09, 2005 at 21:25:47:

I think many of us look back on the days we are in the family and wonder how in the hell we stood for things a person in their right mind would never do.
IMO,Men and women were coerced or under duress to submit to doctrines that would not have been something they would have sought out or participated in had they not encountered the Family, like "sharing schedules" "FFing". Fear was used to support obedience. Fear of something bigger than a jail or prison cell or a warden. Fear of a God who could take us out for not even just confessing our own thoughts if they were outside of the party line.
Just as someone gave a legal definition for rape, in a sense all were subservient to Berg including the men and certainly for some men, having to "share" their wives, be put together or torn apart from the person they loved or separations from children, all those things were traumatic. That is how I see it.
To survive it, many a person had to numb out.
I remember one letter from Berg where he was warning some man in his immediate circle how if the man even looked jealous (or something like that, he must have radiated a "bad attitude" or lack of submission) Berg could just snap his fingers and the man's wife would do whatever, go wherever she was told away from her husband.
It was horrible for many of us, imo, even though I do believe that women in general were more pressured to "share" or "FF".
Certainly every waking moment was not horrible and there were some times that might have been pleasant in the whole journey especially during a time when the nature of the beast was not known, but as time went on things seemed to ME, to get worse and worse, crazier and crazier.
Someone once said to me that when I felt like I was going crazy ( after getting out of the F) I was actually going SANE. I am glad to say that years of being out and getting help has resolved a great deal of the problems associated with that degrading era of my life. I am glad you are around and writing about your experiences.