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Re: Why Our Aploogy is Slow in Coming

Posted by Child Welfare Advocate on September 25, 2007 at 18:00:18

In Reply to: Re: Why Our Aploogy is Slow in Coming posted by Pangea on September 24, 2007 at 21:58:58:

I'm really sorry to hear about your wife losing her job. From what you describe, it sounds as though her employer was an agency that deals with children. Most states require schools, day care centers, youth centers, etc., to do police background checks on their employees. Given TF's track record on child abuse and neglect and that fact that few, if any, of the most infamous abusers appear in any police registries, I can understand the employer's decision to terminate her employment.

But if I'm reading this situation correctly, I also sympathize with your wife, because she may very well have been judged unfairly and suffered the consequence of guilt by association. Even if she wasn't a Victor Shepherd, I agree with what Thinker wrote earlier that it's not enough to say, "I used to believe in corporal punishment, but I've changed." In other words, if she wants to overcome guilt by association and eventually find employment in the system working with kids, you both may want to think about what you can contribute in the way of child welfare advocacy on the subject of abuse and neglect.

I strongly recommend that you and your wife read MG's post at Movingon and the responses he received.

There are any number of SGAs who may remember you from their childhoods in hell; as survivors, they may appreciate hearing their experience of abuse and neglect acknowledged by someone who was there. Remember, there are many survivors who've been told repeatedly by their own parents that it never happened, or if it did happen, it wasn't abuse, or if it was abuse, they should just forgive and forget. It's next to impossible to forgive if no one steps up to acknowledge that serious damage was done.