Posted by CB on September 04, 2011 at 07:49:23
I just finished reading a memoir written by a Bulgarian piano prodigy named Nikolai Grozni. It's titled "Turtle Feet: The making and unmaking of a Buddhist monk." I recommend it for many reasons. I liked the author's east European and cosmopolitan point of view.
The book is an appropriate subject for this board because it tells the story of an intense spiritual journey. The author gave up a promising career as a jazz pianist and higher education in the US to become a Tibetan Buddhist monk in Dharamsala, India, which is where the Dalai Lama's Institute for Buddhist Studies is located. Grozni became fluent in Tibetan, which is quite an accomplishment for a young person in his early 20s.
Even though Grozni is very serious about his spiritual journey, he retains an irreverent wit, and a skeptical and open-minded perspective throughout his four-year experience living as a Buddhist monk. This leads him to befriend some colorful characters, and his storytelling kept me turning the pages. He truly brings exotic India and the people he meets in Dharamsala to life.
His decision to disrobe (renounce his vows as a monk) struck a familiar chord with me: "Freedom is a relative phenomenon: as a monk I felt free of the burdens of the mundane world--work, career, relationships, elaborate plans for the future. Now I felt free of the burden of keeping vows and acting as a noble representative of an organized religion. Still, I missed my robes. It is so easy for us to find something to hide behind. The Buddhist monastic vows are made of an incredibly thick material. They would protect you from many things; they're especially superb in protecting you from knowing yourself."
I think that giving oneself over almost totally to a religious identity is a good way to hide and suppress large parts of who we are and who we could be. Something else Grozni wrote struck me: "I didn't want to parade my spirituality through the streets. I didn't want to be part of any institution. I wanted to search for the truth alone." Grozni's need to assert self-sovereignty is similar to what all of us went through leaving the cult.