Need more specifics

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Posted by Thinker on January 30, 2011 at 06:57:36

In Reply to: Re: How can I help her? posted by alexander on January 29, 2011 at 21:57:21:

I'm just trying to help, so please don't be offended by my direct questions.

Was she in the Family International cult or some other cult? It will make a lot of difference to the answers you seek. Do you know which cult it was? Has she actually admitted to growing up in one or just a free-sex environment?

Unless you meant to protect her privacy, you don't seem to know a lot about her by giving a non-specific age of 25-30. Her being 25 or 30 will signify a major difference in what she experienced if she was in the Family International cult. If she is closer to 30, then the likelihood of her having experienced or witnessed sexual and other off-the-wall abuses increases significantly.

You also describe her as both self-centered and selfless, which although may seem contradictory, is often a normal schism resulting from cult upbringing.

What is it that you want to get through to her exactly? Do you call her "frigid" because of unrequited love or disinterest in you sexually? Do you mean to convince her that she is not really a lesbian? (FYI, a high number of admitted homosexuals have had heterosexual relationships!)

Also, what exactly do you mean by "dirt" that is coming out during arguments--swear words, criticisms of you, information about her past in a cult?

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