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Posted by long time exer on December 13, 2011 at 18:56:00
In Reply to: Re: Animal Farm posted by Perry on December 12, 2011 at 16:56:18:
I remember references to 1984, and yet, so many of the things Berg projected on the system-to-come at the endtime is what he actually created. I'm thinking the betrayal that was so prevalent in TF, including betrayal to self- ratting self out for even thoughts and doubts. Then those excessive journals with 15 minute increments of reporting on everything from bowel movements to how many "fish" "loved". Then the financial matters of counting as income even donated items and tithing the value of that. We were bled dry and at some point had to start being dishonest because strict honesty would be virtually impossible to live.
Then there was the constant "being dealt with" with dire consequences for questioning or not being enthusiastically willing to do some of the most degrading tasks.
I can understand why I didn't just run away. It's called the Stockholm Syndrome. (imo). When I look at things Berg wrote when I was in the family it still makes me cringe and want to puke and I wonder how I could have ever read any of that and not run like hell. I experienced a lot of "deadness" or flat affect with bouts of explosive anger seeming to come out of nowhere for quite some time after leaving. I can still get triggered, but I've been out a long time now. Just wish I'd gotten help earlier after leaving. It wasn't available at the time.
It's no wonder that my higher power is George Carlin.
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